June 14, 2012

1. I hate the AH

2. When will there be a D3 free trial?

3. How many set items have you found?

4. People are missing the point about why D3 is really terrible.

5. Why do 2 handed weapons exist?

6. Magic Find math is driving me insane!

7. Here is a huge list of reasons why D3 is worse than D2.

8. Fire Jay Wilson and everyone will play D3 again.

9. The D3 forum moderators are all liberals.

10. My new MacBook Pro is fucking amazing and I need to tell everyone about it right now.

11. Confused about Magic Find.

12. The RMAH fills me with a mixture of shame and rage.

13. Am I being hacked?

14. It says it will take 1-3 days to review the money I put in the RMAH and I’m pissed.

15. You should buy items from the gold AH then sell them on the RMAH.

16. I was hacked repeatedly.

17. Should I work overtime at my real job or farm D3 with Magic Find gear to sell items on the RMAH?

18. Conspiracy theory about item drop rates forcing people to spend money on the RMAH.

19. I can’t deal with gold spammers anymore.

20. Why is the damn AH down again?

21. I can say “gay” on the forums but not “homosexual”? Really Blizzard, really?

22. Thank God I wasn’t stupid enough to buy D3 now that I know it’s terrible.

23. Blizzard allow me, a psychologist, to explain why D3 is terrible.

24. An open letter to treasonous RMAH apologists.

25. I’m a computer expert and I’m not happy with D3 being down.

26. Questions on Damage Stats: An Essay.

27. Why do elite monsters sometimes heal while I’m attempting to graveyard zerg them?

28. The AH is broken.

29. I liked WoW and SC2 but am horrified at D3.

30. Can we all agree that it would be better if you could pointlessly level to 99?

31. The RMAH has destroyed the gold AH.

32. Is “I was… I AM… Tyrael!” the worst line in D3?

33. Is this the worst legendary item ever?

34. How is it possible that it could take 3 days for my money to go into the RMAH?

35. The Many Lies of Blizzard: An Essay.

36. List of D3 related band names.

37. Does it take as long to get items from the RMAH as it does to get money?

38. If you had 3 wishes for D3 what would they be?

39. Something weird is going on with the RMAH.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

May 31, 2012

1. 중요한건 말이다. 시발 한국 블리자드는 좆같다고

2. Better legendaries will be added in a patch 6 months from now but existing legendaries won’t be improved. Why would you do this to us Blizzard?

3. I tried to buy $320 worth of gold from some guy and got scammed. I now expect someone to do something about it (other than ban my account). I have brain damage.

4. Rename Diablo III to “Auction House”

5. Congratulations to me for killing Diablo in Inferno as a Barbarian (with another person playing a Monk)! They said it couldn’t be done!

6. I have never seen a single legendary drop and I’m level 49.

7. A Forbes.com blog post about account hacks that rehashes inaccurate information posted by a Eurogamer editor based on false information he originally obtained from the battle.net forums. The circle of life.

8. Another expert weighs in on account hacks.

9. Where can I get an mp3 of the music from the Act 1 Spider Queen fight?

10. Please allow us to cancel auctions.

11. Show Blizzard who is boss by protesting always-online play and the root of all evil: the RMAH. Links to another Forbes blog post from the same idiot as before that tells people they should be furious about always-online play. Forbes blog apparently a clearinghouse for reposting inaccurate and/or poorly written items from Eurogamer and Rock Paper Shotgun.

12. I am the greatest player in D2 PVP history and I am NOT happy with D3.

13. Act 4 Inferno is driving me insane!

14. I ordered an authenticator on Monday, it isn’t here yet and I’m starting to panic.

15. How long will t his game last unless they add a glorious PVP system such as the one I played for years in D2?

15. Please add a Trading House where we can all get together and spam ads for our garbage. This would be SO much better than an Auction House why can’t you see that Blizzard?

16. Blizzard raided by the Korean FTC, etc.

17. What type of resist stat protects against the Molten affix?

18. The Event window pisses me off.

19. I can’t solo Inferno, my life is a failure.

20. I heard a rumor that Blizzard is removing the Commodity Auctions forever, this is horrible if true.

21. Why are there items on the AH for 40 million gold? It’s obviously impossible to have that much gold legitimately, I sense Asian farming bots are at work here.

22. Error 37.

23. I am a Professional Game Designer and here are several thousand words on what I think is wrong with D3.

24. I can’t figure out how to trade between my own characters. 😦

25. Why should I bother grouping with anyone else? Seems pointless.

26. Hey all my gold and items are gone what’s going on here? Please don’t tell me I was hacked because I have never played a public game or used the AH so obviously that’s impossible.

27. D3 is AWESOME and I LOVE it but here are a few things that could be better.

28. When will the next patch be available “I wanna make a few gems and level up my guy” and am incapable of doing that until then for some reason.

29. The #1 reason D3 is a joke is because you have to use the AH to get good items, unlike D2.

30. The RMAH will be “forever tarnished” by Blizzard’s original sin of not providing free authenticators with the game.

31. There should be an option to lock the taskbar because I click the taskbar to use my abilities and it keeps getting messed up.

32. What the heck is going on with the AH right now?

33. Is it possible to make a public game where only your friends are allowed to join?

34. Champion monsters with minions that go invulnerable infuriate me.

35. Blizzard forced us all into General Chat. You know who ELSE forced people into things?

36. D3 will be over within a week of the RMAH being released.

37. Hey check out this Featured Forbes Article that proves everything people have been saying about D3.

38. I paid someone from a website to play the game for me so I’m level 60 now and didn’t have to do anything haha showed you all!

39. Exploits have ruined the game.

40. D3 has the worst fans.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

May 30, 2012

1. I have the most legendaries, they all suck though.

2. Blizzard’s Seoul offices were “raided” by the Korean Fair Trade Commission over always-onlinegate 2k12 and this proves everything people on the forums have been saying right.

3. Why don’t story bosses drop good items?

4. A helpful guide about account hacks and misinformation about authenticators.

5. How many legendaries has everyone found?

6. If you think authenticators are so good I dare you to post your login info!

7. Endgame crafting is worthless. [This is actually true.]

8. I was hacked even though I have an authenticator but I use the AH a lot and play public games so I’m guessing it was one of those things. [No you didn’t and no it wasn’t.]

9. Blizzard succeeded in making fat neckbearded nerds cry in their mom’s basements. [That’s just rude!]

10. Is the commodity AH being down related to a RMAH conspiracy?

11. I haven’t been hacked yet but I refuse to buy a $7 authenticator and don’t have a smartphone.

12. The patch broke my game.

13. Incredibly long letter to Blizzard President Mike Morhaime by a 3rd party on behalf of “Ketiper in Afghan”.

14. Too stupid to bother making fun of.

15. Why was D2 so much cooler than D3?

15. I have played D3 for 125 hours, here are my thoughts.

16. Some complaint/suggestion about the patch downloader. Didn’t read.

17. Conspiracy theory about D3 being the only thing online that gets hacked. Actually uses the phrase “conspiracy theory” in the subject.

18. People hated D2 at launch too! [HOW DARE YOU? This is also actually true, it didn’t even get very good initial reviews from a lot of places.]

19. If D3 were a car or other product would you be satisfied? This is super relevant.

20. Chest runs in Inferno give a lot better loot than The Butcher.

21. Am I the only one who laughs at all the people posting they got hacked without an authenticator?

22. It seems to me like a lot of the things in D3 that people are now complaining about not being like D2 were actually created in response to things people disliked about D2. [BLASPHEMY!]

23. +10% movement speed is worthless.

24. I was hacked and lost everything but don’t even try to tell me to use an authenticator. Allow me to list all the totally irrelevant network security steps I have taken.

25. Shorten the potion cooldown so I can powerslam potions like in D2.

26. The KFTC raided Blizzard’s Seoul office. Hopefully they start an investigation into the RMAH conspiracies soon.

27. The patch broke my game.

28. All items should have unique serial numbers so Blizzard can use them to track hackers like I saw in a movie once.

29. The D3 login/pass database was hacked. This will be deleted because Blizzard doesn’t want you to know the truth. Everyone needs to wake up and realize this is all part of a conspiracy to sell authenticators.

30. The D2 expansion achieved perfection in all ways so people using the excuse that D2 also had problems on release are obviously stupid.

31. The thorns item stat is worthless.

32. Why is my ping time unacceptable I demand a response immediately because Blizzard made “a trillion dollars” from D3.

33. Is it possible D3 would not have been terrible if they released it 5 years ago?

34. I just got hacked this is ridiculous I avoided “99% of public games” because everyone knows that’s how you get hacked.

35. The first legendary I found was worthless.

36. D3 is terrible and it’s never going to get better so stop fooling yourselves thinking it will.

37. Put in offline play now or I will personally create a cracked version of the game.

38. Here’s my theory as to why everyone hates D3.

39. Is Magic Find broken?

40. Here’s a Google Code link that I claim is a “free Windows-based authenticator”. This is not at all suspicious.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

May 26, 2012

1. “D3 loot system explained – game of thrones” youtube link I didn’t watch.

2. D3 is down for maintenance and I’m on top of a clock tower with a high powered rifle why did you do this to me Blizzard? You’ll regret this Blizzard.

3. Stop complaining about D3 being down for maintenance. This won’t attract a ton of hateful comments, nope.

4. Why is D3 down for maintenance? Why do I have to login? Why is the sky blue?

5. Someone who posted 4 times then deleted all his posts. I’m guessing it was about D3 being down for maintenance.

6. Do you think Barack Obama plays D3?

7. Hey does anyone know when D3 will stop being down for maintenance? If you do please let me know how you found out so I can stop constantly posting forum threads about server maintenance.

8. This whole account hacks thing didn’t seem like a big deal to me but then I was also hacked and my friend is pretty sure it was because I played in a public game. [No it wasn’t.]

9. Here’s a fun game: name a game that has ever been taken down for maintenance other than D3, WoW, and SC2 I bet you can’t!

10. Inferno is too easy and I’m threatening to quit.

11. Link to a poorly written PC World article about how D3 is being sold under the name “Big Pineapple” in China to exploit some kind of censorship loophole.

12. I was hacked with an authenticator! [Nuh uh.]

13. D3 is literally garbage meant for brain damaged children.

14. I’m very upset with Blizzard’s solution to the terrible legendary items issue.

15. Conspiracy theory involving the RMAH written in incredibly broken English.

15. “How much HP does Belial have in Inferno?”

16. I found a level 22 legendary in Inferno and am suicidal as a result.

17. D3 being down for maintenance at this time is totally lame.

18. Female Demon Hunters look like Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, Queen of the Forsaken.

19. Poorly written and semi-incomprehensible post advocating that the Nephalem Valor buff be reset on death or skill changes.

20. Why don’t more elite rare items drop in the unicorn level?

21. I was hacked with an authenticator here’s a link that shows scientific proof. [Link probably installs 7 keyloggers.]

22. What was it like the first time you had a legendary drop?

23. There should be more options to limit auto-join because I’m having awkward situations with my friends.

24. People farm the first story boss in Act 4 in public games and I consider this an exploit.

25. “in the last video of the act 1 you can see the World Trade Center as two subliminal candle….!” [THREAD OF THE DAY]

26. Demon Hunters are worthless and Inferno sucks disguised as a helpful guide to playing DH in Inferno.

27. Internet e-Celebrity Athene has 300k DPS on his Demon Hunter. I worship him.

28. Please fix the missing achievement book and event in today’s patch because I desperately need them.

29. I’m thinking about using some low level legendary items. Maybe.

30. I’m getting bored of D3 after 2 weeks but played D2 for “4-5 years”.

31. This combination of Inferno champion affixes haunts my dreams.

32. What was PVP like in D2?

33. What’s the worst set of elite monsters you’ve ever found?

34. I was hacked and am not happy about how Blizzard handled it.

35. I’m in Act 3 Hell and haven’t had a rare drop since Normal. I’m also a big fan of lying.

36. D3 is terribl…y awesome!

37. D3 sucks and is boring.

38. D3 being down for maintenance is literally worse than the holocaust and anyone who isn’t upset about it is a collaborator.

39. How can D3 possibly be down this long for maintenance? Valve would never allow this to happen.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

May 25, 2012

1. There are too many items on the AH, I’m freaking out!

2. Diablo III Greatest Game of All Time

3. All the people saying Inferno is impossible were obviously wrong based on my experiences farming the Skeleton King.

4. I have the highest DPS of any Demon Hunter ever. Bask in my glory.

5. A thread for people to share information about the achievements for a rare event and lore book that are possibly bugged and missing from the game. [Clearly this has no place here.]

6. Why isn’t the authenticator free? I’m prepared to engage in forums warfare for 9+ pages on this issue.

7. An earlier thread featuring a several thousand word essay about why D3 is terrible reached the maximum replies limit. Let’s get it going again.

8. The AH is ruining the game for me. I’m trying hard to not use it but every time I login it’s there, tempting me, taunting me. The AH is depriving me of the greatest pleasure I have known in life: endgame trading. In D2 the rush of creating a public game with a title advertising my trade, having a stranger appear in it, opening a trade window with them and shoving my gold and/or items into it in exchange for gold and/or items I considered to be of equal or greater value was pure heroin in my veins. [THREAD OF THE DAY The actual text of this post is hilarious and impossible to adequately satirize.]

9. Legendary items and why they suck.

10. Inferno isn’t all that hard.

11. I, too, was hacked.

12. None of this would have happened if Blizzard North was still around. Lament the fall of a once great empire.

13. Who else is now super excited for Guild Wars 2 and Torchlight 2 in light of D3’s spectacular failure?

14. I’m quitting D3 because it’s terrible. Here’s 20+ paragraphs and a large number of >_> type emoticons explaining why.

15. Can you even imagine playing D3 2 months from now? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

15. I am in need of technical support due to a problem installing the game and have chosen to post this in General Discussion instead of Technical Support.

16. What classes do you think they will add in the expansion? I’m hoping for Death Knight and Paladin.

17. Fire Jay Wilson, bring back Blizzard North. They are the only ones who can save us, like The Avengers.

18. I’m looking to hire a prostitute to help me kill The Butcher in Inferno.

19. Nightmare difficulty is impossible.

20. My roommate just got hacked and he totally has an authenticator, I swear. [No, he doesn’t.]

21. What’s the best way to farm gold? [Blizz, please move this to Off Topic.]

22. Unfunny parody thread about murdering Jay Wilson.

23. I don’t think the Wizard skill Critical Mass is working properly. [Lots of garbage clogging up the forum today and distracting everyone from the important issues of account hacks and quitting the game.]

24. 30 paragraphs of suggested game improvements from someone in Act 1 of Hell.

25. Is there a way I can manage my characters and inventory from my computer at work?

26. All the people claiming to have been hacked are really hackers who are upset that they can’t hack D3.

27. D3 sucks because it isn’t like D2.

28. I’m seething with rage because all 7 members of my family share the same D3 account and the shared stash and shared gold get confusing real fast!

29. I love this game but here is a YouTube video demonstrating all of its many flaws that Blizzard should watch and take under serious consideration.

30. A helpful guide on a lot of elaborate methods to avoid having your account hacked of which only 1 of about 30 items is “use an authenticator”.

31. Demon’s Souls is an awesome game… not really sure where I’m going with this.

32. How do I go on “item runs” that are just like D2?

33. I found an unsellable item that doesn’t appear to have any purpose, what’s the deal with that? What is Google?

34. I’m getting destroyed in Inferno Act 2.

35. Inferno is the most perfect creation in human history.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

May 24, 2012

1. Inferno is too hard.

2. “I want to be able to discuss Diablo III without the Blizzard cyber police silencing me again for thought crimes.” Blizzard are liberal fascists. [THREAD OF THE DAY – RUNNER UP]

3. My level 60 hardcore character died because of lag.

4. Here’s an out of context Jay Wilson quote that proves Inferno is terrible.

5. I’m pissed because Bashiok is making seemingly contradictory statements.

6. I’m laughing at everyone who doesn’t use an authenticator. The hackers are culling the herd. Only the strong will survive.

7. Account hacks: time to panic?

8. I’m quitting D3.

9. D3 is terrible and everyone defending Blizzard will be brought to justice.

10. I haven’t attempted it yet but I have a theory that all my D3-related sadness and depression will lift if I play hardcore mode.

11. Everything is wrong. Everything.

12. Unfunny parody thread about account hacks.

13. I’m quitting D3 for a huge number of reasons that I will now describe in detail.

14. I’m from Vietnam and have an obscure account/payment issue.

15. D3 is a disgrace to the Diablo name.

15. Why can’t you link achievements? I need to be able to link my achievements.

16. Unfunny parody thread about the D3 dev hiring process. Summary: D3 is terrible.

17. D3 is terrible.

18. How do I buy the D3 collector’s edition?

19. I need there to be a class that uses shields as weapons.

20. Random events are awesome. [This person apparently missed the memo that General Discussion is only for venting the most insane things you can think of.]

21. Blizzard doesn’t care about your pathetic complaints. They are too busy rolling around in piles of $100 bills.

22. I, too, was hacked.

23. All legendary and set items are worthless.

24. I found an overpowered wizard Inferno build. Here is a link to my justin.tv stream.

25. D3 is pretty bad but can you imagine how much worse it would be if there were skill trees?

26. The D3 devs should be ashamed of themselves for not allowing WASD movement.

27. Elite packs in Inferno are impossible. Bosses are “faceroll”.

28. Bosses are too easy.

29. The internet ruins everything. [Hard to argue with that one.]

30. This legendary item is labeled as a sword but it is clearly not a sword.

31. We need to raise awareness of the account hacking crisis.

32. “I am suing for emotional distress, false advertisement, garnishment of wages and account fraud.” Posted by “RonPaul” [THREAD OF THE DAY (I don’t care if it’s fake.)]

33. Blizzard clearly is unable to deal with the hacking crisis. I’m taking matters into my own hands.

34. Please stop attacking Blizzard, let’s work together to help them make the game not terrible instead.

35. Hell difficulty is too hard, help me.

36. I think my account was hacked but I’m not sure, help! [It definitely was hacked.]

37. Playing in groups seems pointless to me.

38. I’m still really upset about the lack of offline mode. Here’s an incredibly long post about it. “IF you don’t support an offline mode, you’re anti-troops and aren’t into supporting the troops.”

39. I have a conspiracy theory that playing in public games leads to account hacking.

40. I think I’m quitting D3 but I’m not totally sure.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Diablo 3 Daily Forum Snapshot!

Hello, this is an exciting new blog that will summarize the contents of the front page of the D3 General Discussion forum once per day.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment